While few opinions may ever rival Judge Kent‘s “live Bolivian” exposition or his “Big Chief tabletbenchslapping of two unfortunate counsel, there are three Texas jurists currently at the top of my list for the title Judge Kent may now never regain.

The first would-be-successor is federal district judge Sam Sparks in Austin, who penned this order just about a year ago:


Next up is San Antonio federal district judge Fred Biery, who recently quoted both scripture and the Grimms’ fairy tales in a ruling:

Just as it would be difficult for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, Cornerstone’s effort to enter the UIL is denied.

* * *

Having not followed the proverb, “Physician, heal yourself” nor having treated others as it would like to be treated, Cornerstone has reaped what it has sown.

Most recently, SCOTX Justice Don Willett demonstrated juristical flair in his concurrence to the Court’s decision this past Friday in Lewis v. Funderburk, No. 06-0518, ___ Tex. Sup. Ct. J. ___ (Tex. April 11, 2008):

My recent concurrence in Ogletree v. Matthews described what I hoped would be a “rare bird in Texas legal practice”: a “grossly substandard filing pitched as a bona fide report” under Section 74.351. Today’s case presents the Court with an actual sighting of this rare bird, a species that in my view merits extinction, not conservation. Extensions forgive deficient reports, not absent ones. If a report is missed, not just amiss, courts are remiss if they do not dismiss.

Congratulations to these three jurisprudential talents for drafting such entertaining yet legally precise rulings, and may the best jurist win.

Thx to Tex Parte Blog and Above the Law