Peter Lattman over at the Wall Street Journa Law Blog links to a 2003 article by Minnesota lawyer, Larry M. Wertheim, which examines the jurisprudence, if you will, of the Simpsons‘ late, great lawyer, Lionel Hutz.

Lionel Hutz, Esq.

Mr. Hutz, Esq., who has been absent from the show since Phil Hartman’s death in 1998, claimed to have attended Harvard, Yale, MIT, Oxford, the Sorbonne, the Louvre; and he officed out of the Springfield Mall with the firm of I Can’t Believe It’s a Law Firm!

Some of his more memorable exchanges are below:

Homer: All you can eat–hah!
Hutz: Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film, “The Never-Ending Story.”
Homer: Do you think I have a case?
Hutz: Now, Homer, I don’t use the term “hero” very often. But you are the greatest hero in American history.

Hutz: No don’t you worry Mrs. Simpson, I-Uh-oh. We’ve drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly,” and the word “dog” with “son.”

Marge: Do you want your son to become Chief Justice of the Supreme Court or a sleazy male stripper?
Homer: Can’t he be both, like the late Earl Warren?
Marge: Earl Warren wasn’t a stripper!
Homer: Now, who’s being naïve?

Thx to the WSJ LawBlog and Mr. Wertheim